i'm rotten without my daddy God... rotten.. i cannot live without Him.... its terrible without Him..

woo just woke upp.. "chased" sai home. hahaa. last night went to my cousin kaiwen's hse..as wat i predicted i sat down and watched tv.. haha. sOo..had fun la.. cos all the cousins were there. they were gambling.. jiaying woN $3 can.. cos they play 10cent ma. she is riched man..haha. sai called..say treat me watch fearless..at 1130pm show..free one! i dun mind..caren was suspose to join us.. but she bought earlier tickets le. herher.sOo..dad fetched me to GV..then ruSh into the cinema wif sai. bought popcorns,icelemon tea and ben n jerrys**(reminds me of you** haha)haa.err..oh and i saw this GV girl at the counter ahh.she was vy familiar.. soo i askd her."are u christline's friend??" haha suprisingly she recongnise me and know my namE seh..everyone know me ahh.. hahahaha
wah then we chioNg into the FULLY packed cinema.was 20mins late..haha..

FEARLESS is vy boring..... sUPEr duper boRIng.... fightfightfight... sai and i were so BOred in the theatre..we started chatting.. hahaha. think the ppl ard us must be Vy irritated by us..hahHAaa... sO after tt ended ard 120am..then vOOm sai's bike to send choc**! squeeze the choc into the letter box la. and i was like wearing a black helmet when i did tt.. think ppl see tot i wanna rob the letter box. HA HA HA. i tihnk i really looked damm suspicious. hahHA.aheM.. ok.. so sai stayed over my hse cos.. the weather vy cold..then go home on bike to sengkeng vy cold.. soo stayed over lo. baaa........ OK! off to my breakfeast! later go ppl coming my hse..hope can get more ang baos.. heee..
miSS you lotsss**

without Him i cannot breathe..

i'm coming back to the heart of worship
its all about u Jesus
i SOrry Lord for the things i've made
its all about you Jesus...

all i need is you

today is the first day of Chinese New year! hmm..jus reach home. and i'm like super sleepy,super duber tired and superrr full. morning woke up.. my aunty and her family came to my hse.fast man..cool.haha.. first ang bao of the day. my grandpa was the first to give me angbao..cos he gave us straight away aft reunion dinner yest.had steamboat for dinner at home..got NEEDLE MUSHROOMs! reminds me of someone**..haha. so i kept eating needle mushroom..ate alot of them man...!! anyway today.. went to AH MA's hse at err..1130am. had my fave ah ma's mee suA. wah super nice.. i ate two big bowls..and i was like BUrrPpp.. haha..met all my cousins..young and old..actually all the old one are like same age as me.. haha. then after tt i went to my ah ma's sister hse. ate again..hahaha.. alot somemore.. 3 paos?! haha.. vy nice ma..

OH today i wore er.. the PINK colour small christain Tshirt tt eufai gave me for birthday present. hAHa.. wanted to wear my addidas T.. but cos my family all wear pink or red.. so i feel extra if i wear green..like hari raya..haa. when i wore the pink T.. my mum and my dad and my sistas were like WaH! niCEee!! haha.. then i told them.. nice right?? COs got the name Jesus there! haha.. then they.. -_-"'.hahaa..then i =P. hahaha.. yeah! i love JeSUs! and i wanna declare IT! hahaha..

angbao was ok...hhaha.. cos i need it for my nxt month's daily expense fee and FEB 14th***!!!.. hahHAa.. but still thank God!.. cos its blessing from Him. hee. okayy!! gotta go take a nap man..tonite going my cousin's hse.. chiong majonG! ahh dun worry i dun gamble one...haha..

wah..i miss u** alot mannn... alOT la..alot man.. alot kk.. alot cannn.. haa. wanna mt u SOON! dun eat too much ahh..haha

woah.. i jus reach home.. not long ago.. haha.. left aza hse at like 1130. toktoktok and tok.had mtiing, so many problems to solve. But really thank God.. haha.. guess everything is settle le. hahaa.. Whoa..oh we drank beer!! err. root beer LA hahhaaa...love u guys lots.

yeaHH.. i had a super great day today.. SuperB.hee.woke up at 1130.mt ca at yishun mrt after her sch.. at ard 130. i was there sharp man. excited ma. sOo. we went to far east makan my fave chiken rice cum watermelon juIce!walk walk walk..tok tok tok.. hahA.(abit copy ur blog ah) haha. then went to wismaaa. so fun can. jus enjoy spending time together.no i mean LOVE spending time together.haha. and not spending moNey! hahhaa.. er.. then saw wei bin(my bball "idol") at wisma's mango.. then saw her again at topshop again. waH and she smiled at me can.. she recongises me.. hahaa. waHhh.cOol.she is damm gd at bball laa..and me compare to her is like..peanut. haha. anyway..hahA.thanks ca!for sharing my excitment.hee.er..so we continue.. at citylink and suntec. citylink got like alot of shops tt she likes..hahaa.for example the paper shop. haA. CAn see the sparkling shinny light through her eyes (*o*) when we enter the shop..and her wide and unclosable smile on her face. haa.cute man!! wahh i was happy tOo!! haa.she was like so happy caN! haa. had to rushh to mting..victor was like going to kill me.. haha.. i seriouSly enjoyed my day today man.. every min and second.. hHaha.

thanK God for everything.. every and everything.
thanks ger.. for everythinggg.. waH.. i like Totally love today can. and enjoYed so mucHhh.and u know how happy i was right?? haa. i love chao and kee(not charles and keith ahh).got alot of planss aHh.. haHA. ********** love ya mann!

whoa tml is charisma's reunion breakfeast! cool hahhA. can't wait ok! i gotta slpp le.. so tired...

y are they playing jay chou songs again.......... stooppp...argh

stupid mosquitos...

*miss u badly**

jus went to Northpoint shopping centre's website. was bored la.. haha. discovered something tt mde me laugh like crazy.. hahha.

Heres a description of Northpoint as written on the website.

"Northpoint Shopping Centre is conveniently located opposite the Yishun MRT station and next to the bus interchange. It meets the everyday needs of a Yishun resident.

Northpoint was refurbished in 2001 and a new extension housing food and specialty shops was added in 2002.

Diaper changing room located on Basement 1 (near toilet). "

hahHAah i'm SERIOUS.. http://www.centrepoint.com.sg/malls/np/index.asp

its like so ERRR.. y must they mention "diaper changing room located at B1.. ok.. y dun they like describe.. wah northpoint got good food.. er.. nice bookshops..er.. got forever on sale espirt?? err.. HAHhaah.. stupid... hahaha

gonna burn midnight oil tonite.. i hafta finish studying today.. help me Lord..

every time.. when see my younger sisters asking my mum for money.$20..$10 to buy books or pay their sch stuff.. i feel vy presurrized.

Being the eldest daughter in the family. I feel soo pressurized. My sisters are growing up.. their expenses are increasing. whether is it school...or their needs for allowance.. i can feel the pressure on my parents espcially on my mum.. and its getting onto me.. seriously.. its getting so real..
Per wk.. my allowance is $25-$30.. many many many times i wanna tok to my mum about it. cos its serious not enough. Jus for travel fee itself..its ard $3 per day... cos i have to use adult fare now. Jus now during dinner.. i wanted to ask my mum if she could help me out abit on my travel fee.. but when i called.. "mummy..." and i looked at her.. i din bear to ask her at all.. i dun wan to add on to her burden. soo i said.. "er.. nothing.. nvm.."

i'm the eldest... i have to help to lighten my mum's burden. I have to work...i have no choice.. but i'm like so sian of working.. but i know i cannot sian.. cos i need to work. haiz... pressurized man.. when it comes to my year 2. I will be super busy cos its full course already... no more like three days a wk.. when will i get the time to work..?? but if i dun workk.. i will have no money...and by the time.. both my sisters will be in Junior College.. and their expenses will be like super heavy... how can i even bear to ask my mum for more allowance..

my school fees are vy ex... by august.. My mum have to pay my second year's fees.. which is $12k. and by third year ..it will be another $12k. I ask my mum many times... where do we get the money... she jus ask me not to worry... the more she ask me not worry.. the more i worry for her la.. so much money can....

God i know u provide my everything.. pls help my family.. my mum. pls give me a heart to work..
i love my mum

*choke hug*

i'm going to sleep early today! i promised *you!!
thank God for everything today... and for opening my eyes too..

just got home. super tired. wahh din had the energy to cycle.. haha dunno wat happen to my legs.. overworked?? haha.. old already i think.
was toking to sai on the way home jus now.. through the phone.. so we were like toking about working.. haha theN she say both of us can start tution classes. hahA.. call th PEI-SAI TUTION centRE.. hHahha.. i burst out laughing on the train can.. pei-sai.. sOund so shitty can hahhHAa.. lame can.. hahAHa..

today school was ok. haha. tried to get tips from teacher for this thurs test. but he refuse. I was like.. teacher..wat will question will come out for test ah?? then he replied. from chapter one to five... thanks..tt realy helped man.. haha. terror nv come today.. cos she went back to her country for chinese new yr le. soo class was like suPer quiet..hahA. had orange juice and ya kun bread for breakfeast. thanks daniel.
wahh.. liverpool lost yesterday can... so sad..... haiz.. but it was a vy good match..though i thnk its impossible for man u to win liverpool... wah.. why did it happened.. sian man. dun worry i will still support liverpool no matter wat.

this wk will be a busy wk.. got test.. and alot of hwk piled up man. haha.. need God's grace to strenghtened me.
ok gotta prepare for tution le!

** see u later!! =) miss u lots**

today Pastor say..obey is more important than sacrifices. ok..say 5 times the word "obey" after me. obey-obey-obey-obey-obey. yeS.. obeY.
God, help me to obey U in every way...and not find excuses...or go in my own way.. help me Lord.

woo..toniTe.. LIVERPOOL vs manu. see... liverpool is in caps.. HAhaa.. cos i know liverpool will wIN. hHAhha. excited man.. can't wait. haha. i love soccer man. i dunno y. haha. can't wait for world cup too! this year. haha

today is sunday! wah.. since friday..i had been waiting for sunday can.. hahaha... thank God for today.alot! I cherish today alot man. thank God for this love!** we Love JESUs! =))

woo..today pastor sang a song. "i want to sing" its one of my fave song. hahhAa.. shoiK man!!to be lost in HIs presence..
ok..tomorrow is monday.. got sch and tution.....hmm.. GOd strenghten mE!

I will sleep earlY tomorroW! i promiSE okayy??!* and drink alot oF WATER!! ***

baa.. sO many things in my mind right now. jus feel like taking a vacumm machine and suck everthing out of my brain. suck all the brain cells out... cook soup drink. yucks...! yumyum

1) test was suspose to be on 8 Feb.. but they pushed to nxt thurs.. and my clasmate terror was super unhappy. others were also unhapy.. well.. i was jus sian. cos i have got no mood to study at all..no motivation. wat have i become...

2) homework. My hwk is become a mountain.. and guess wat. i have touch them yet.. three days worth of hwk. nvm i will finsh them all today...

3) room. i jus packed my room and its messy now again...this is a vicious cycle.

4) surf and sweat. i'm joining this competition on the 5th of feb at sentosa with the gang. beach soccer. hahaa.. and i kp thinking about it. i'm getting lazier.... sorry guys,i know i always pour cold water..

5) tution. I dragged of going tution now.. getting lazy. cos like nothing to teach.. and time pass slowly.. but if i dun teach i got no money. box me man.. got job still so lazy..grumble here and there. go bang the wall LA! how i wish i no need to work then can get money.....hmm.. how i wish we celebrate chinese new yr once a month.. then can get ang bao to sustain me..

6) tv shows. noW.. all the shows like so boring. sOO boring la... can channel 8 stop showing Hongkong shows.. esp tt 7pm show i dunno watch how many times b4 le... could even tell u wats their nxt move and script man. I have watched almost all the hongkong serial in the vcd shop can...i few times somemore.tv is boring for now..

7) poor time managment. haven been managing my time well.... slacking ard always...

8) ca. i miss ca. ca is not feeling well..hasn't seen her in sch for three days.. thurs she came but cos of fever so had to go home. so bored in sch man. then the Miss Naban keep teaching us maths. although she is a maths teacher la.. haa. Miss you and Loves u lots! and u know how much right? haa thanks for the ecard yaa?? dun worry i will tell u wat hwk we have ok?? now teaching at inequalities. chicken man..

9) lunch. its lunch time...and i dunno wat i wanna eat.. think i go downstairs coffee shop.. join the kopitiam ah peks drink coffee eat lunch.. cheers to the ah pek's spirit.

ger must take care ok!? wah really hope tt u will recover soon man.. rest more rest more.. drink lots of water k.i will be so proud of u man. wah hatehate HATE to see u so xin ku...faster faster recoverrrrrrrr.. oKay?! sleep moreeeee *i shall go and pray noW* love u so much much.

PheewEE!!
okkayy dun be shock ppl.
He is wang xi. A Hongkong Tv serial actor. haha.. wa ok think he is cool,handsome and got charecter man. I like to watch his shows la. haha. er.. why am i doing this??..overdose of tv show. but anyway He is cool.

i jus went downstairs to buy NEW TUB for my turtles! cos their old tub spoil le..leaking.. sOo. i bought a big blue round one! haa..cool man. my turtles were so like excited la. haha.. so i asked them to like cool down. haha. now they are happily swimming inside. anyway their fave food is xiao bai cai. haha and they haTE kangkong.. unlike me.. haha i love chili kangkong! haha.

$1 three try. come come ppl come.. slap me.

i've been so lazy....slap me faster...

haha..yeah i managed to clean my room today ..since..last last wk i have been wanting to do tt. and i did it today. my mum will be so happy la. haha.. her goal,vision and ambious dream is to see my room neat and clean. she have been nagging me to clean it since last yr.she must be so proud of me now.

MUMMY I DID IT!

ho ho HA HA HA!
* clapps clapps*

Do not depend on the arms of flesh. Do not depend on your will power or strenght to keep you in every ways of the Lord. Constantly look unto Him and bring every issue in your life under the light of the Lord so that you will not be drawn away in a moment of weakness, or by the strange and subtle influences of the enemy and lose your precious salvation.
--Time alone with God- Pastor's book. pg Jan 21.. --

i need you Lord.i wanna spent more time wif you.and i love Jesus alot.

*pray tt u will recover soon..:) silkyz barley for u k! focus on Him no matter wat ya? =) praying always. miss ya and love ya lots!.

jus now..which is before 12midnight. someone special did something vyvy special for me.tts Priscilla Shin Hui. ok..i wasn't feel vy good yest. then i was toking to her online.then suddenly she say she have to offline.so yaa.. then suddenly!after 15mins..she called my hp and asked me to come out of my hse. so i was shocked..really shocked when i saw her.. she came all the way! wah..and it was like 10pm?? ok.. i'm super touched. words cannot ever express how touched am i. really..i'm really extremely seriously honestly superly touched...ca i love u sOo soo much man. soo soo much la... soOOO much can.

i will keep this!:)

the real meaning of "always be there for you no matter wat"...*hooked*

ca.. thank you..for coming all the way to cheer me up. i dunno how many thousand times i said thank you. but every thank you is from the bottom of my heart ok? thank you for the "happy meal" ger. haha.. i will forever remember this day. and everyting tt you have done for me.and u know how impt u are to me ok?? =) thank you for worrying for me. thank you for praying for me always.thank you for LovinG me sOso much.thank you for walking with me thru.thank YOuu soo muchhh ger. *huGs to tight until cannot breathe*choke choke. hahaa. I LOVE YOU ALOTalOTalOTs! i wanna thank God for u! i'm so grateful to God.. sososo grateful!
Jesus loves us alotalotalot! He will hold our hands ya? =)

frm the bottom of my heart..with a vy deep breath..i wanna say. i love u and thank you sooo much.=))

i'm feeling much much much much better now...

thanks bro.alot. thanks for rushing back for me.. :)
ok..gotta go tution now..

jus came back from sch.. it hasn't been a gd day for me today. quite moody.. seriously moody man.. couldn't sleep well last night at All..then dragged myself to sch today. really dragged man..go econs class.. today's lerture notes super thick..and i was moody.. in class..although i was sitting beside qingyi the terror... i was still sian..i din bother to react to whatever threats of her whacking me..if she can whack away my moodiness i dun mind.. pls whack my face.. din have the mood..she knows i moody so..she was nice to me today. Mr Tan(econs teacher)..even came and ask me.. "u went party yest ah"... then i replied him wif tt.."wat face".."noooooooooo laaaa"."dun tok to me can.."

went home...rode bicycle frm mrt.. din really cared about the cars on the road..din cared about the red lights..din cared about ppl walking.. i jus dashed across the road.. din cared if i will get banged down by cars..i totally din cared at all....jus wanted to come home asap.....

even as i'm at home right now...i'm super moodyy.. dun feel like eating anything at all or drinking anything at all..dun feel like working..dun feel like teaching tution..dun feel like watching tv..(dun feel like watching TV lehZ! tts the extend of how moody am i....) ..AhhhHHHhhhHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHhhhhHhhhhhhhh...
God help me.... i'm sad...

someone..pls.. jus take a baseball bat and whack my head.. jus whack.. i'm serious.. whack hard..

GOH pei yIng.. pls.. stop thiS..
take me with you Lord..

all i need is You. i dunno how.. but i need You.. alot alot alot alot... and u know how much i need You. at times..when i'm so lost in ur presence.. its like.. God..take me..plsss take me... u know how much i need u. i'm helpless wif myself.. without u i'm rotten.. plsss take me wif u Lord?? so tt i can be in ur presence forever?? cos in your presence...tts where i find strenght to live... i dunno how to express how much i need Him.. He knows... take me Lord..
i weak without Him.

Protect us* Lord... Lord.. i will pray..!ok? i will pray.
we wanna walk in you...we dun wanna hurt u or break ur heart.

grant me strenght to live on...

*i'll always be wif you ok..=) hooked*

nice add ons by my dear brother daena! haaa
she is the small-lay ee odl lay ee- sun...
i am the brown lay ee odl lay ee!monkey...

wooo..its really vy vy cold man. coLd and i'm freezing.. haha. wore three layers of clothes today in school man. haha..but still kana whacked. haha. always kana bullied man. i must master dodging skills to dodge skillfully. must go up to the mountian of the white mountians to master frm the high wushu master.. ok..rubbish...heh hA!

well...the madonalds' "fantastic burger" song is stucked in my brain.. i dunno listen for how many many thousand times today. hahaa.. "heY! chi fan le ma.. if not..come down to madonalds...la la la la.." haha. today met ca to break-fast at chong pang. haha..we ate our usual hokkien mee..then followed her to get..her fave paper bags.. haha. SPK..her fave shop. hahaa.. 100pieces can!?. dun worry ok? no matter HOw many thousands of paper bags or plastic bags u buy..i still love u alot as u are ok? hahahha. headed to macs to study after tt. as usual time flies super fast when we r together... haaa. bEE came to join us awhile..and she needed to go home to do her unprofitable business.( business women lehz). haha. thank God for today.. alot. =) gotta go read my two chapters of matthew le!!! yeah.hahaaha.

i missed many many ppl...i miss my cellgrp peeps u5,ruoling,victoR,gabee plus plus. and i miss team 5ers-clovis-lichu-ana-rowee and ezRAa (the raaa like lion roar like tt.. raaaA-scary man), ahh and i miss aza toOo!
i miss ca toO!.. althought we jus mt.. hahHAa. as usual right?? :)
i love prisca shin alot!!
a little msg to u! (highlight below)
fi i reve turh Uoy, tsum llet em ko?? soc i evol uoy tola!!dna i reven tnaw u ot eb turh! u nowk?*syawla dekooh*

wah...jus kanna ignored totally by 23.. hmm aiya.. dun care man...

laaa..so sleepy now..but everyone still outside..haven come home..i'm alone at home now.. can hear the crikets chi chi chi.. and i'm bored.....tv is so boring...my sofa so boring.. my sister's fan is so boring.. no batteries le.

love spending time wif ca always.
*pinkie fingers hooked** =)) hold His hands to sch ya..=)

read bible!

i was woken up by a phone call this morning.(i slpt in the living room) it was my mum's call. after the call she went to break the news to my grandpa in hainanese language. i knew wat happened.my grand aunt jus passed away this morning. first thing. i was worried for my grandpa. cos is like my grandaunt is like the only relative left to my grandpa. After my mum told me the news i kept looking at my grandpa. he looked strong at first. but he broke down crying. It was since my uncle(my grandpa's son) passed away i last seen my grandpa cried. feel so sad...cos my grandpa is sad. i'm not close to my grand aunt but i know she is very nice. i pray that God will strengthen my grandpa and i know God loves my grandpa. i love my gonggong.

nv felt so worried...feel so helpless cos i can't do much...the only thing i can do is pray. and pray and pray and pray with all my strenght and everything within me. i know God sees my heart and He hears my cry.
*taking a deep breath*..i seriously dunno how to express how i feel right now. Its like even the sian-ness of sch starting tml doesn't matters to me anymore...doesn't matter anymore.. never prayed so hard for anyone like this before..seriously. Jesus knows..
*taking a deeper breath* i know He is in control now..i have surrendered to him.

you know tt i'm always here.=) be strong ya?


all i need is Him. take me Lord.

baa...my nose have been stuckeD for vy long!..really need the plumber man....

today is a planning day for me. I've got many things to plan. haha..its already 4th day of the new year..and i have not plan finish.. this year is going to be a busy year. I have to work two jobs...cos i need to earn my allowance for the nxt two years. I'm still taking two subject this year. But when it reaches August. I have to take 4 subs per semester.sOo by then i have no time to work already.haha..then where money come??and travel fare is like so EX. And iF they ever increase the bus or mrt fare AGAIN! I will burN down whatever transport ministry ah! last year increased by 10cents! it had such a great impact on civilian like me!...10cent times 4trips come and go hm everyday a month i can save $12 LA! 12bucks can buy Tshirt,eat 3 lunches,get a haircut,buy someone a meal and 12 packets of pocky.

so Thank God tt He opened doors for me now..with both good jobs..=). it might be tough handling workwork and studies. But by His grace..no problem onE! hahaha..steady man. sChool starts nxt monday.and i will start all my work nxt wk. so fast..soo this is my last wk..hanging out..rotting at home..chasing after all my fave tv shows in the afternoon..no more spongebob. baaaaa

yest.I've got a letter frm trishaw aunty which is ca.haha put in a cool golden "ciggrete" box. haha..i felt really Blessed and haPPy after reading it. thanks ger.. i know how impt i am to you. haaa..i must THank GOd for you! love you lotslots. so grateful to God to have a buddy and best friend like you.haaa..i appreciate everything ok?! haha..free can call my during recess time..haa
------------------------------------------------------
okayy. It is a lie frm the devil that God doesn't wanna hear u say..hear u cry..or hear ur reasons.God does not work this way. He is wants more then anything to carry everything for you and to handle everything for you. It breaks His heart to see you being hurt. He died for you..tts how much He loves you.ahh.. be still through the storm and know that He is God. I once told God..i never never never wanna break His heart anymore by going back to the past ways..but seems impossible by my own strenght...this only can be done..by depending on His grace,His love,His strenght and also a life for Him.
*find strenght in Him..i'm here supporting you too..storm will be over soon*

i need your love.. like the desert needs the rain..
i need your touch..like the fire needs the flame..
one moment without you near..
is heartache i cannot bear
a lifetime with you Lord
is heaven i long to know

yaa monday! so happy..cos tml is tuesday.yaa..soo? aiya..anyhow link.. ok.i had a great day yest. When to mt ca for lunch icekacang at famous chong pang. Bee and joel boi joined us. haha joel so funny la.. go any pronounce tummy combine wif stomach.TUMACH! nice..hahaa.we chiong sugercane and jui kway at chong pang. haha.. the jui kway is good man!!haha..think later gonna cycle there and da bao abit home. haa. soo waited for the rest to play ball..then the organiser-evan together wif u5 came. haha..then victor wif erwin..yaa..we had fun. haha..so long nv play ball le..shoik.
ca had a great time tong panging ppl.around the basketball court. ah boy is good ahh. (ahboy is my bike not me ah!).hahaaa.yeahh..next time we can be trishaw aunties le.the passion of tongpanging ppl. hahaa..pheewee!

school is STARTING LE! tml! hahaa... my school haven start yet..hahahahahaha...think i still got one more week..actually.. i dunno when i'm starting sch..haha..ok.. shall not rub too much in summore. otherwise..ppl shoot fire arrows into my hse..then die...cos my hse no fire extingisher..